MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE - COMMUNICATION DAY 7

YOUR WORDS MUST EDIFY

Some men find it difficult to give verbal compliments while others take pleasure in discrediting their wives. Some complain about her cooking, the way she raises the children or perhaps criticize some flaws, weakness, weight, the way she wears her hair etc

TODAY'S ACTIVITY:  BUILD HER UP

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (TLB)
So encourage each other to build each other up, just as you are already doing.

Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers

Using the past 6 days activities and suggestions build your wife up for the next 7 days.
Pay a compliment, express how much she means to you and the family.
Encourage her to do something that she's probably afraid to do and wishes to do.
Make an open positive declaration about her to her family, friends, pastor or in-laws.

Caution: Do not talk bad about your spouse to the children, your mother, your friends, and do not put her down in public.

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!  Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife or www.twigscog.org
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God Bless you and Keep the  Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE - COMMUNICATION DAY 6

THE ART OF LISTENING ATTENTIVELY

Listening attentively will help you develop important skills. It will also help you develop your relationship and gain opportunities to strengthen and grow.

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

TODAY'S ACTIVITY: LISTENING
Are you challenged by this facet of communication?
How well do you listen, really hear, take action and pay attention?

For most men this is an area they are challenged by- whether it is to sit still, follow instructions, take advice or simply listen.
Here are just some of the areas of concerns:

Taking care of health- taking medication, measures to stabilize their pressure/blood sugar and other ailments, exercise, diet and food restrictions, intake of alcohol or other substance abuse, appropriate rest/sleep

Taking Advice/instructions- reluctant because it's the wife/woman, prefer to listen to friends who may say the same things, precautionary measures on instincts of friends/associates or even business partners and deals, warnings that affect you and the relationship, ideas and suggestions for purchases...

To needs and preferences- does things selfishly not considering requests made, one sided discussions, very argumentative, not opened to trying new things, attentive to the hurt, pain, things that makes wife unhappy, fears or concerns, attention to the wife and children..... how she likes to keep the house, cleaning up after yourself and putting things in their place

Selective Listening - listen or only want to discuss the things that are important to you, twist conversation that is discussed, not paying attention and does something totally different, hears half the story then makes a judgement or critical remark, interrupts conversations abruptly

Additionally, are you listening to the actions, silence or even unspoken requests? Here are some scriptural and some loving personal advice:

James 1:19 (KJV)
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Proverbs 25:12 (KJV)
As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.

Proverbs 1:5 King James Version (KJV)
A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:

Paying close attention and not distracted by your thoughts or other activities will enhance your relationship.
Give your wife your full attention during a conversation.
If you do not understand ask her to repeat or rephrase for clarification
Be sensitive to the words that are not spoken by looking out for a tear, sadness, sighing, sleeplessness, hurt, stress etc..
A listening ear also means that you can offer support without words in the form of a nodding, positive facial expression...
Show that you are listening by watching into her eyes, being affectionate and restating your love to her with words or unspoken loving gestures.

Today, as you openly and honestly reflect on scriptures and loving advice take the time out to give your wife a hearing.
Take the time to listen to her needs and concerns without interrupting, except for clarification, and show her you care by demonstrating it in action.

Caution: Do not time her or say something negative- it's not what you say but how you say it. Do not defend but admit where you can do better.

An old adage states, "Listen. Perhaps this is why God gave us two ears and one mouth in the hopes that we’d listen twice as often as we speak."

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing our challenge
#28daystolovingmywife or www.twigscog.org
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE - COMMUNICATION DAY 5

SHARING IS CARING

(Please note this is not just for married men, but for ALL MEN)!

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Men are you Acing this or challenged?
Any success stories or challenges? PLEASE SHARE!!!

DON'T MISS OUR FIRST LIVE VIDEO AND CONFERENCE TONIGHT AT 8:00 PM LOCAL VI TIME - 7:00/6:00 PM US
CALL 1-470-888-9447

WE HAVE DECIDED TO PUT THIS CHALLENGE ON OUR BLOG ON OUR WEBSITE SO THOSE WHO DO NOT HAVE FACEBOOK CAN PARTICIPATE www.twigscog.org
(They can start today and then go back to day 1)

TODAY'S ACTIVITY: SHARING IS CARING

How much do you share with your wife?
Can you talk about personal issues, comfortable in discussing matters of the past, health, wealth, share your successes/challenges?

Do you shut her out when you had a hard day or don't want to be bothered when things are not going well?
Do you go to your room, go on the telephone, do a hobby to shut off your spouse and family?
Don't want to discuss relational or controversial issues?
Walk away or go for a long drive in the middle of a conversation? Don't want to be bothered or talk for days/weeks when you have stuff on your mind, have an argument or your spouse does not agree with you on something?
Do you share your job/salary or financial position?

Do you share socially?
Can you talk about events, weather, discuss a movie, news, enjoy ordinary conversations going on a drive or do you sit at home in silence?

Hebrews 13:16 King James Version (KJV)
But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.

Today, as you reflect on the questions and scripture above make a concentrated effort to show that you care! You may not be a person who like to talk, but it is important to your wife that you share your life with her. Here are some helpful tips:

Set a time daily for a few minutes to share your day with her
Select a topic of mutual interest and have a healthy discussion
Go for a drive and communicate something that's probably on your mind and has been bothering you.
Learn to speak about issues in a calm and respectful way
If you are angry don't speak, politely express that to your wife-set a time when you will resume the conversation
Share your job, income, financial goals/plans
Communicate about issues involving the children, your likes/dislikes and preferences
Get help- speak to a mutual friend or pastor
Build a friendship that you can share things with as a friend

Caution: Don't call a friend or your mother and tell them you not feeling well or doing something important before sharing it with your spouse!

Learn to be friends-after all you will be spending a life time together!

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE - DAY 3-4

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE
Day 3 - COMMUNICATION

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

How did it go yesterday?
Any success stories or challenges? PLEASE SHARE!!!

Today's Activity: A TIME TO SPEAK 

Ecclesiastes 3:7 (KJV)
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

We know that silence is golden and expressed without words.

Many household issues result on what needs to be said, but are kept silent about.
While women enjoy surprises and men should have private dreams and ambitions, you cannot and should not keep quiet about things that affects your wife and or household.

You should also not be selfish or secretive.
You cannot surprise your wife or claim to buy something (unless it's a gift for yourself) for the family, if it's not benefiting your wife or family.
ie... buying a standard car when your wife drives only automatic and you have no intentions of teaching her.
Making major purchases or things outside of the budget without consulting her.
Not sharing physical issues or ailment but keep it a secret or doctoring your condition.
Not communicating future plans or changes which can affect her.
Letting her get information from a second source instead of hearing it from you.

It's time to speak up.....
Using some meanings from both words,
Nourish - "keep a feeling or belief in one's mind;
Cherish - "revere, esteem

Are there any decisions or plans you need to share with your wife?
Are you holding out on anything that needs to be communicated to her?

Communicate to her...
What are your plans for the family this year?
Are there any purchases?
Are you in trouble?
Are you financial burdened?
Are there any dreams or desires?
What are your plans for the future?
Is there a secret you need to discuss?
What are your goals?
Does your wife know your health/death request?
Would you like to be on life support, buried/cremated, get blood transfusion etc...?
Do you want children/more children?
What are your home, vacation, vehicle, food, perfume, clothing, hairstyle, sexual.... preferences?

Have you communicated them to your wife or are you discussing it with others?
Are there any others? 

There are many things that you cannot be silent about-
As you make decisions and plans, ensure that it is in line with the definitions to esteem and revere keeping in mind that you are one flesh. "Practice makes perfect!"

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE
Day 4 - COMMUNICATION

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

How is it going?
Any success stories or challenges? PLEASE SHARE!!!

Today's Activity: How You Say It
You have heard the saying many times, "It's not what you say that hurt, but how you say it."

Here are some guidelines to speak:
Are you harsh? Proverbs 15:1-2,4- Speak softly and use wisdom
Cussing or Insulting? Ephesians 4:15,29 - Speak in love, to edify and minister grace
Evil speaking? Proverbs 18:20-21 - Speak life
Lies? Proverbs 12:22, Ephesians 4:25 - Speak truth
Belittle? Proverbs 11:12, 16:13 - Speak with understanding and use delightful words

The old adage states that if you have nothing good to say, it's better to keep quiet.

Today, take time to reflect on how you speak and respond to your wife and make every effort with the help of the Holy Spirit to polite, kind, truthful and understanding as you speak to her today!

Challenged? Ask the Lord to help you by making this confession:
Psalm 141:3(KJV)
Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE - DAY 1-2

MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!

COMING TO YOU SOON... 28 DAYS HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFE!

We apologize for not posting sooner- Since some men do not have facebook we are going to post the on-line Men's Marriage Seminar Challenge for February! 

(Introduction, Day 1-2 in this post, then 3-4 in another post and then daily) 

Our women and other men have been crying out for seminars for our men, not because they are necessary bad men, but because they are not taught.

Our women attend conferences, workshops and sessions, but cannot put the things they have learnt into practice with men who are not prepared mentally and spiritually to work with them!!!

I have taken on the challenge to minister to the men for the month of February!

Topics of Discussion:
(Each topic will be for 7 days)
Communication
Intimacy
Financial
Leadership

For 28 days I will do a post and give an activity. I will also do a live video once a week.

Survey shows that many marriages are staged, roommate type of living or singly married status!

We would like to build the Ephesians 5 Profile Man to match the Proverbs 31 Woman.

This will NOT be a forum to criticize or condemn men, but in keeping it real, we have to train so marriages can be more enjoyable and our children, singles and the next generation can have a change to emulate!

Let’s do this.... SPREAD THE WORD!!!

I’m willing to take the risk-GOD HELP US!

#28daystolovingmywife

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE Day 1 - COMMUNICATION - Breaking the Silence

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Men your challenge begins today!
For the next 28 days, I will post and give you an activity;
We will meet once a week by live video on Monday Nights at 8:00 PM (Local VI time / 7:00 PM US) and conference line 1-470-888-9447

Purpose: Developing the Ephesians 5 Profile Man
To deepen/enhance/restore/build the relationship of couples, explore ways to activate/ignite passion; provide knowledge to bridge the gap, engage appropriate position/alignment to bring fulfillment to the union. It is also to educate the unmarried on the expectations of their role as a husband, father and leader of the home.

Let us begin today with the theme text- You are to memorize this verse and confess it out loud everyday so it becomes a part of your speech. This will enable you to do the activities with a positive mindset with a focus on learning and understanding two words and their definitions.

1. Nourish - "provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition; feed, provide for, sustain, maintain; keep (a feeling or belief) in one's mind, typically for a long time."

;2. Cherish - protect and care for (someone) lovingly-adore, hold dear, love, dote on, be devoted to, revere, esteem, admire;
hold (something) dear-treasure, prize;
keep (a hope or ambition) in one's mind-harbor, entertain, possess.

Our challenge week begins with Communication. I know one of the biggest challenge is for men to express themselves in words. But that's what matters to your wife. She wants to hear you- she wants to know how you feel about her, not just buying her gifts or doing big things but simply words. They are important to her. If you are challenged remember the theme verse, as Christ does the church. Christ spoke even after He was silent. Let's begin...

Today's Activity: Breaking the Silence 

As you reflect on the above words, Nourish and Cherish, without expecting anything back, using some of the words above, formulate a sentence to express your love to your wife.
ie... Honey, dear.... I love you and admire you! Be creative and genuine- express it verbally in person, send a text, make a call. You must do all three today!
You can put in a little extra, by whispering your sentence tonight before she falls asleep!

Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Please help another brother by sharing this post!
Sisters, you can lovingly, not critically, share this with your spouses to take the challenge!

Let me know with a comment, I have taken the challenge!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE Day 2 - COMMUNICATION

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

How did it go yesterday? 
Any success stories or challenges? PLEASE SHARE!!!

I got some feedback and sensed that some men may feel that they don't need to do the challenge because they don't have any issues. However, this is not just for relationship with issues but somewhat a social conference. You may learn something new or may need to encourage another struggling brother by doing the challenge along with them!

Today's Activity: SILENCE IS GOLDEN
Yesterday, you broke the silence and expressed yourself with words from the key words, nourish and cherish.
Today, you will express the same words without speaking it out.
Action also speaks and can speak louder than mere words!
Continuing on our week's topic on communication, review again the definitions:

1. Nourish - "provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition; feed, provide for, sustain, maintain; keep (a feeling or belief) in one's mind, typically for a long time."

;2. Cherish - protect and care for (someone) lovingly-adore, hold dear, love, dote on, be devoted to, revere, esteem, admire;
hold (something) dear-treasure, prize;
keep (a hope or ambition) in one's mind-harbor, entertain, possess.

Choose one of the actions meaning and communicate it to your wife (NOT SEXUALLY). 

ie... "dote on"- As she approaches you, or stepping out - put your hands on your lips, stare at her with a smile and a wink or just, drop your jaw dotting at her fineness...... NO WORDS!!!!

Let's do it Men- Use your creative imaginations, make it obvious that you saying something without verbalizing it!

Remember,
MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Break the silence!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God bless you and Keep the Faith

Virtuous Jewel

HAVE NO FELLOWSHIP

TAKE NO PART

Many today are pursuing empty pursuits to include pursuits of darkness. Many hours are spent in useless pursuit for things that are evil and of no spiritual growth. They are barren pursuits. Pursuits that is not profitable and add no value to life.

You are advised that you should not participate in these barren pursuit, but rebuke and expose them.

Ephesians 5:11 KJV

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove 

While you are encouraged to follow your dreams/passion and pursue a good education, you must be mindful of the activities that you participate in to acquire and accomplish them.  Anything that is done in and with darkness yields the fruit of darkness.

TODAY'S FOCUS:  UNFRUITFUL WORKS OF DARKNESS

Darkness and engaging in darkness is unfruitful.

Defining unfruitful means anything that is not yielding or producing good results/fruit    

The deeds of darkness are infertile.  It bears nothing of value.  Therefore, to continue to work in darkness will make you barren and unproductive.  

The scripture above ask that not only should you not participate but you should reprove the unfruitful work of darkness.  You should not even entertain or speak about it.  No indulgence or sympathy.  It's an empty attempt to achieve anything.  

You are called to be a light and a witness in this world.  Pursuing after the unfruitful works of darkness is the work of the flesh- It is sin! 

Let's Discuss:

What are some of the unfruitful works of darkness that are works of the flesh?

What can be done to yield the right fruits? 

What must you do to reprove them?  

A reflection on honest answers to the above will indicate that unfruitful works of darkness (Sin) only yields sin!  It cannot yield anything else but fruitlessness.  

You can yield yourself to the Lord so His fruit which yields righteousness will be manifested.  

Submit yourself to the will of God and not be influence by the works of darkness.  You must rebuke openly and not participate in no form or fashion.  

Remember, the pursuit of unfruitful works will result in fruitlessness.  You will get weary trying to yield anything else when your works are that of darkness. There should be no compromise.  You should have no fellowship whatsoever, even in showing empathy and or concern.  Know also that any branch that is unfruitful will be cut off.  Do the work of the Spirit so you can yield fruits of righteousness.  

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

WE ARE BACK - RAISE YOUR PRAISE

WE ARE BACK!!!!! 

We have been unable to post our blogs due to Hurricane Maria which affected our power lines and internet services, but by the grace of God we are back to share with you.  

There will be a few changes to be effective in February- (Details will be provided accordingly.)  

I was having a rooster dilemma today on our Start Your Day Right In Prayer line. The roosters were crowing so loudly as I prayed.  I was getting annoyed at the noise of the roosters and tried to find a place with less noise when the message came- 
Are the roosters crow louder than your praise?
Are they making you lose your focus?? 

Here's what a dear friend has to say about the noise and annoyance: 

"Nonetheless to the rehearsed intercessor this would cause turbulence for them but to the seasoned warrior, in that very moment of intercession you are so keen to what the Spirit of God had placed on your heart that this distraction is no longer in your peripherals and you get to complete the utterance of what does sayeth The Lord."  

Although, the message wasn’t just about the noise, I began thinking of the many who say, Christians are noisy and we don’t have to make so much noise. 

These roosters don’t care who they wake you up nor who is bothered by the noise. They don’t stop because I’m upset or angry. It gets worse, they crow and screech louder when your chase them.  There’s no place to hide from them- they’re in the front back and sides of the house. They are everywhere- I heard them also on the other prayer warriors lines!!!

It seems like the hurricane brought more of them out in the open because the trees were blown down.  Immediately I began thinking about the level and condition of my praise. 

TODAY'S FOCUS:  PRAISE LEVEL AND CONDITION

Does adversity stop your praise or does it cause it to rise higher?

This question came to my mind when I thought of what we have been through for the past four months of no electricity, internet, running water, curfew, limitations, shortages and other life comforts.  

Like the roosters, did my praise rise higher in my adversity?

Did I make my voice heard in the morning or was I silenced by my circumstances? 

Did the darkness make me hide inside or come out and give praise in spite of the conditions around me.  

Many have gotten distracted, stopped praying or praising God or even letting their voices be heard because they lose their focus or were told they are too noisy or perhaps they don't have to express themselves that way.  You may even have been told you can worship God in silence.  But... 

The roosters are consistent.  They can serve as an alarm clock in the morning.  They are also a nuisance with their mess.  They are not concerned if it's the car, your freshly painted balusters or your new pair of shoes, they just do it anywhere.  

I am not advocating that you disobey the laws or have no respect for the neighborhood, but are you selective in your praise? (where you will go, when or how)

You may have not been hit by a hurricane or natural disaster, but you have other circumstances that has challenged your praise.  Learn from the roosters who though they lost their homes in the trees are sounding forth their crow at the early morning, all day and evening hours.  

Remember, be consistent and verbalize your praise regardless of your condition.  Don't hold back your voice because of your limitations.  Go where the opportunity is.  Don't hide inside yourself or be intimidated by the crowd.  Christ is in you.  Be a voice of Praise all the day long!

Make this your confession from Psalm 71:8 (NLT)

That is why I can never stop praising you; I declare your glory all day long.

God Bless you and Keep the Faith! 

Virtuous Jewel