FRIENDSHIP

DEFINING THE ROLE

This picture expresses the definition of friendship as, 

"Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.  

What comes to your mind as you reflect on this picture?  

I see the differences are uniquely knitted together

Different hair color, skin tone but woven in heart. 

Embracing and complimenting each other. 

There is a close bond that ties them together. 

Is this what your friendship look like? 

Who do you share that kind of friendship with? 

I am blessed to share this type of friendship with my blood sisters, some church sisters and a few others.  

As women, we crave for girlfriends that can share our hearts-whether they are celebrations, sorrows or even secrets.  

Today many friendships come with a price tag.  It's more like, "what's in it for me", rather than how can I be a friend to you.  Perhaps it's time to do a friendship evaluation.

TODAY'S FOCUS:  FRIENDSHIP CHARACTERISTIC INVENTORY 

Let's begin by reflecting on this scripture: 

There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 TLB

Are your friends true friends?  

As you read and reflect on the following, determine if they measure up to the definition of the picture above...

A true friend - not just in good times, but when you are down and out

Genuine - not fake or force the relationship
Loyal - not inconsistent or unreliable
Honest - not lying or misguiding,
Lends a helping hand - not just suggests solutions
Gives time - not just gifts or money
A listening ear- not just talk and or voice their opinions
Offers you grace - not judge or condemn you
Respects your values- not ask you to compromise your standards
Honors your beliefs - not try to covert you to their way of thinking
Keeps your secrets - does not share them or gossip about you
Appreciates you - not take you for granted
Adds to your worth - not depletes, deprive, or diminish your strength and resources
Admires your talents/gifts- not compete with you or sabotage you
Goes the extra mile - not thinks you are a burden
Comforts you - not create/apply stress to you or your situation
Believes in you - not questions your vision or innocence
Understands who you are - not try to belittle, discredit, humiliate or embarrass you
Invests in the friendship - not just make demands, oppress or inconvenience you
Trusts you - not suspicious or questions your motives, actions, and or trust
Walks with you - not against you or let you walk a journey alone
Happy for your success - not envious or jealous
Lets you be yourself - not ask you to pretend or mask your identity
Loves you unconditionally - not for your status, what you can give or who you can connect them to
Loves God - not criticize your religion or discourages you from going to church

Friendship should not be a burden or a stress.  True friends should be reliable, dependable and understandable.  

If they are leaning heavily on what friends are not, it’s time for a friendship evaluation of your friend inventory list.  

God has blessed us with angels, we call friends. I am thankful for the ones that have been placed in my life, and that I have been able to count on through the years.

While this saying is relevant to me... the best friendship is having Jesus as my friend!

Your friends should also have a relationship with the Friend of all friends, Jesus Christ. When He becomes their friend and lives within them, they will become a true friend.

Remember, your friendship list should be audited to ensure that your inventory of friends match up to the image and definition.  A friend is woven at the heart and not at what they can receive from the friendship.  Remember, also, to be the friend you want others to be to you!

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

POP UPS

POP-UPS

We apologize for our absence as we were restructuring and preparing for our 2018 identity conference.  We will be doing a new face to our blog which will be tailored more to our women's ministry soon.  

By definition a pop up is...

• "an unrequested browser window, especially one generated for the purpose of advertising."
• 
  

This can create a distraction and must be closed immediately to inadvertently affect the project you are working on and or make you lose your work.  

Some people pop up to your house, party or other places uninvited.  If it's not someone dear to you, it's not a very welcoming experience.  It causes rifts and whispering through out the event as people go around greeting, pointing out the uninvited guest to others.  Sometimes that person is allowed to stay to save face and can cause some to be uncomfortable.  However, at times they can become a nuisance and thrown out.  In some instances damage may have been done before the person(s) are thrown out.  

Similarly there are things that pop up on the screen of our lives that come to distract us from seeing a clear view of our purpose and or assignment.  

They may come in the form of thoughts, images, words or demonstrated actions of others.  Pop-ups main intent is to rob us of our joy and distort our purpose.  

TODAY'S FOCUS: POP-UPS STEALS YOUR JOY 

Perhaps you had every intention to pursue a dream (go back to school, start a business, write a book or do something special for the day), and immediately begin to have those self pop-ups that tell you, you're too old, you don't have money, or nobody likes what you have to offer....  You probably decide to share it with a friend who immediately gives you 20 reasons why you shouldn't or maybe you see a commercial or another business and begin to feel intimidated.  This makes you drop the ball and abort your pursuit for your happiness. 

Maybe in the middle of your planned day, you get an unimportant phone call which interrupted you, and you were too engrossed in the conversation to remember your schedule. Or... perhaps like me, in an experience I had while leading a group of women,, had a pop up that tried to tell me what I was doing was a waste of time-simply because the result I expected was different to what I received.  

Sometimes instead of closing the pop-up that comes in the browser, we tend to let it steer us away from what we are doing.  This creates other pop-ups as one window leads to another and another.  As you navigate from your original work, you find yourself on another course.  Perhaps on another website that gets you into trouble like shopping and buying things that were not in your budget.  You may also see something that may steer and tempt you into sites that are not within your standards or ethics.    

Sometimes it could be the innocent or subtle suggestions or actions of others!

  

Be mindful...

POP-UPS STEAL AND ROB YOU OF YOUR JOY AND CAN BE A DISTRACTION ON YOUR JOURNEY OF PURPOSE!  

Let's discuss: 

What are some of the pop-ups that can occur as you pursue your dreams/goals? 

What are the pop-ups that you are presently experiencing? 

What's your strategy to eliminate and close the browser? 

What can you do to keep your focus on your assignment? 

Remember, you must control your thoughts and utilize the sword of the Spirit (the word of God) to fight every attack of the evil one.  He is a joy thief who does not want you to experience joy!  Immediately close any pop-ups that come up in your mind, and avoid at all costs those that show up as uninvited guests, suggestions, views, recommendations, discouragements, evil or well intended actions of others!  While others contribute to joy, don't rely on anyone or anything to prevent you experiencing joy.  YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR JOY! 

God bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

REMEMBERED IN HISTORY

ROYAL PAIN 

Today's blog comes from an inspiration from my Women In Christian History Devotional of Queen Anne.  She was a woman who suffered many things in her childhood to adulthood.  

"She was pregnant seventeen times, but bore only five living children, with one surviving infancy."

Other challenges faced by Queen Anne were:

She was considered fat

She suffered an eye condition when she was a child

She had a painful public falling-out with her best friend

She contracted small pox as a young woman

She was lamed by gout in latter years

Have you watched others come to power while you struggle to own what's rightfully yours?

Queen Annie, though a princess, saw others who were close to her came to power.  This could have easily discouraged her and cause her to slip into depression or other emotional distress.  

If you wishing to be a queen, or dream to be in power-"Be careful what you wish for!" Queen Anne had it all but with much pain and suffering-Royal Pain!"

 

Learn from Queen Anne-while it seem that she was a royal pain subject, but through all her suffering she was remembered differently in history. She redeemed herself and her past!

TODAY'S FOCUS:  MAKING HISTORY MAY COST YOU PAIN 

As we reflect on Queen Anne's story, it appears that her mark in history cost her much suffering and pain.  There were physical, emotional and even spiritual struggles.  However, that did not stop her from making a positive difference to be remembered in history.  

History remembers Queen Anne for an annual allocation called, "Queen Annie's Bounty."  This was an amazing thing that she did early in her reign as queen.  She decided that the "first fruits and tithes" received from the churches, which was like a tax, be given back to the churches.   

There's always someone who will be facing worse situations than you-How will you be remembered by them or others in history in the future? 

Are you imposing burdens or releasing favor? 

Are you inflicting pain or extending grace?

Are you hating/hurting/wounding or are you showing love and compassion?

Are you criticizing/condemning/judging or encouraging and inspiring others? 

Watch your actions, for they will bring good or bad results.  What you do will be remembered and be marked down in history. Be careful as you may eat the harvest of what you have planted or may hand it down to your children/grandchildren.   

Everyone will have their fair share of struggles/challenges and accomplishments/successes!

Life will deal you both good and bad, but you must choose in spite of the challenges to do something that will positively impact the lives of someone, your church and or community.  

Remember, you will be remembered in history for what you endured as well as the legacy you lived-good or bad.  Know that there are others who are enduring and facing tougher battles than you.  Share a kind word, a gift, your time, an opportunity or a word of hope.  This can be your "bounty" and redeem your past struggles and make a memorable history! 

God bless you and Keep the faith! 

Virtuous Jewel

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS

THE HISSING WORD 

There is a word going around that is hissing.  Like a snake it is a deadly dangerous and poisonous word.  It has ruined many marriages, separated many friends, broken many hearts and even caused many to be in jail and or in their graves. 

The word that hisses is considered just casual talk, but it's actually....

General observations simply spoken impolitely  = G O S S I P

By definition the dictionary states that gossip is:

casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

Other words used for gossip are: rumors tittle-tattle, whispers... 

A person who likes talking about other people's private lives is also called a gossip...

and is considered as a gossiper, scandalmonger, gossipmonger or tattler 

The scripture calls a gossiper a busy body, and is despised by God: 

1 Peter 4:15 (KJV)
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters

How are you known? Are you known to be a gossip? 

What about a flibbertigibbet? ( "a frivolous, flighty, or excessively talkative person")

Are you the subject of gossip? Let see what happens at the scuttlebutt!

TODAY'S FOCUS: THE SCUTTLEBUTT 

The scuttlebutt was known...

"early 19th century (denoting a water butt on the deck of a ship, providing drinking water): from scuttled butt . Sailors would traditionally exchange gossip when they gathered at the scuttlebutt for a drink of water."

One of the meanings for butt is: "the square end of a plank or plate meeting the end or side of another, as in the side of a ship."  Where is your scuttlebutt?

What scuttlebutt are you currently using to make general observations simply spoken impolitely? 

Perhaps at work the "scuttlebutt" would be the lunchroom.... 

Church- Water fountain, hallway, bathroom, parking lot or even right in church

What other scuttlebutt are out there? 

Telephone/Cell - Calls, texts or pictures

??.......

What does the "scuttlebutt" say about your boss, friend, sister/brother, mother/father, husband/wife, minister or pastor?  Has it been verified?  If it is, is it edifying, virtuous, of good report or of praise?  If not, DO NOT ENGAGE IN IT! 

How can you tell you are at a scuttlebutt or someone is about to gossip?

Did you hear that so and so....

Rumor has it that.... 

School children say...

Don't tell anybody i say, but....

Sentences that start with a chuckle saying.... Gurrrl/Boyyy/Maaaan I just heard that...

You can identify a "gossip" and know when you are at a scuttlebutt when the beginning of the sentence opens up with the words listed above or when a person starts asking you, remember whens-about something that happened to a person that was not pleasant.  They appear to be generally concerned but are either going to gossip or try to get you to engage in gossip.  

Watch who you speak to-Usually, one who brings gossip, carries gossip or is looking for information! 

In most instances the message brought is usually not the original, It can be a modified, diluted or a revised version to get your input. Additionally, the information can be from a "hear say" source or a person who is trying to get information about something they heard.

Whisperers will not make it into God's kingdom:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (TLB)
Don’t you know that those doing such things have no share in the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who live immoral lives, who are idol worshipers, adulterers or homosexuals—will have no share in his Kingdom. Neither will thieves or greedy people, drunkards, slanderers, or robbers.

Don't fool yourself or say that you made an observation when you are actually gossiping. If something is not polite, it should not be said even if it's true. Whenever you are tempted to engage in gossip, put yourself in the person's shoes that you are talking about. Hopefully, it will make you stop!

Remember, gossip can be general observations that can be misunderstood or misinterpreted. God does not take lightly to gossipers at any scuttlebutt. They are listed with other criminal offences and will not inherit the kingdom of God. Defuse gossip by not engaging, informing or fueling the "gossip!"  Read Proverbs 26:20-28 - Learn to pray and praise about and for others!

God Bless and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel  

REDEEMED BY LOVE

THE OLD SYSTEM 

The old system for redemption required us to sacrifice the blood of bulls, goats and calves.  The old system dealt with certain rituals as to what we should eat and drink, how to cleanse ourselves and other rules.  

People had to keep these rules to be perfect.  If they faltered they would need to apply the blood of these animals would cleanse them from their sins. 

Under the old system the priest had to go to the altar day after day, yet it could not take away sin.  Actually these sacrifices heightened the awareness of sin and brought guilt. 

Under the old system the laws were rigid and written in a book, and the people needed a constant reminder.   

The old system required many sacrifices which was not able to last.  The people had to perform the same acts over and over again.  A new plan was needed-One that was not written on paper nor chiseled in stone but written on the lining of their hearts. This plan would be a one-time act that would require a sacrifice of love. 

TODAY'S FOCUS:  THE NEW PLAN

The old plan was set aside so the new plan can exist.  It is done away with and no longer requires a priest to stand all day to minister and offer or repeat the same sacrifice for the remission of sins.  

An agreement was made for our redemption, and Jesus Christ was the ultimate sacrifice.  Through the offering of His body once, we are all made fit and clean by His blood.

The practices of the old came to an end.  The transaction was completed, then He sat down at the right hand of the Father.  The Holy Ghost is a witness and confirms what was said and done of the new plan.  

It was a perfect sacrifice made by a perfect person.

Hebrews 10:18 (KJV)

Now where remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.  

The agreement was made, and your slate has been made clean.  His laws are now written in your hearts and in your minds, and your sins are remembered no more. By that single sacrifice, He did what was necessary to purify and redeem you.  

Remember, your redemption is a finished work done through Christ.  It was done God's way, and it does not require you to perform any ritual or sacrifice.  You were redeemed by love, and your sins are no longer remembered if you live in and for Christ Jesus.  Once sin has been forgiven and forgotten, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.  

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE DAY 28 - LEADERSHIP #7

THE CHALLENGE ENDS BUT THE PRACTICE BEGINS! 

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Today closes our 28 Days To Loving My Wife Challenge. However, you must now put into action the lessons and instructions given to improve your relationship.
You should now be ready to....
Communicate better- Talk and discuss things with her
Be a better intimate partner- Love her and learn her love language
Manage your finances - Plan and budget
Lead and Govern - Lead like Christ

TODAY'S ACTIVITY: THE LEADERSHIP OF CHRIST

Men must follow the leadership of Christ and lead others as Christ leads. Use the Ephesians 5:23-31 Profile of how Christ loves and takes care of the church as your model:

Head of your wife as Christ is the Head and Savior
Your wife must willing obey you in everything
Love your wife as Christ by giving yourself (time/resources) as Christ loved the church
Make your wife holy and clean
Love your wife as your own body
Nourish and cherish your wife as Christ would do to the church
Your wife is a part of your body
Stay connected to wife as one 

Some Things to Remember:

Break the silence and express your love

Listen attentively

Know her love preference

Cultivate Romance

Do you daily diary beginning March 1st

Prepare your budget

Have a personal relationship with Lord

Spend quality time with each of your children and your spouse individually

Caution: Don't keep secrets from your wife-Don't be a man in the dark only-Don't seek advice from friends who do not have their lives together to govern your home-Don't rule like a Pharaoh!

TO BE AN EPHESIANS 5 PROFILE MAN, YOU MUST LOVE HER AND CHERISH HER AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT!
Remember, MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!
Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Lead in love!

I TOOK THE RISK WITH YOU...
It has been a pleasure to share with you what the Lord gave me to share. If you missed the challenge, you can do it in March.

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

LET THE HONEYMOON BEGIN!!!

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!  

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE DAY 28 - LEADERSHIP #6

DRINK WATER FROM YOUR OWN CISTERN

The following scripture speaks to the men of enjoying everything from their wife at home.

What say ye?

Proverbs 5:15-21 (KJV)

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

COUNTING DOWN.......ONE MORE DAY!

You have received the expectation of a good dad and is now ready to explore your position as a husband!

Are you a notable critic?
Are your conversations with your wife full of sarcasms? '
Is your action as effective as your words?

TODAY'S ACTIVITY: THE LEADERSHIP HUSBAND

Are you an abusive husband? 

Domestic Violence is nestling in the homes of many, not just physically, but emotionally, socially. 

It is said that men can give the silent treatment just as good or even better than women. 

In our lingo (here's the English version) "I'll beat you without touching you" is demonstrated throughout the household.

How do you deal with issues?
Do you leave the house, turn up the volume of TV/Radio..?
Do you support, financially, spiritually, emotionally?
Do you compliment/praise or criticize?
Do you show love and affection outside of the bedroom walls?
Do you encourage your spouse to pursue goals?
Do you help with the children/housework other responsibilities?
Do you have her as a "help meet" or your slave or mother?
Do you trust her?
Do you respect, honor and submit to her?
Do you put your friends, parents/family, exes before her?
Do you meet her needs/desires?
Do you share "everything" with her?
Do you cheat on her?
LET'S TALK
Here are some of your expectations in the position/role as a husband:
Communicate and discuss issues and matters of the home and family
Learn to face and confront matters, they won't go away if you avoid them
Support and provide for her financial, spiritual and emotional needs
Constantly praise and compliment and express your dislike without criticism
Always express love and affection not just sexually but demonstrate daily kindness, gentleness
Encourage her to pursue her dreams/ambitions and offer support
Assist in the discipline and upbringing of the children and share the household chores
Make her feel special and treat her as your equal. She is not to be treated like your maid, servant or slave
Trust her with your life, money and have faith in her
Honor her as the queen of your life, respect her decisions, submit to her requests in the fear/will of God
Beside the Lord, NO ONE should come before her, that includes your mom/dad, other family members, all female/male friends, exes and the church
Your desire to please her should be foremost in your mind and make every effort to meet her needs
Your wife should be your closest friend and should come before anyone else- She should know all your affairs and should not be surprised with anything
Be Satisfied with your wife-Drink water from your own cistern!

DOs' and DON'Ts'
Show affection - Don't correct in public
Speak Positive Affirmations - Don't gossip about her with others. Encourage - Don't criticize, judge or condemn
Listen and Pay Attention - Don't shut down, ignore/neglect
Play and Have Fun - Don't be a grouch and rule like a Pharaoh
Be Available - Don't be an absent husband (physically/emotionally)
Caution: Don't compare her to your mother or ex-girlfriend

Remember, MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!

Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Lead in love!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

Facebook #28daystolovingmywife 
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God Bless you and Keep the Faith! 

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE SESSION

TONIGHT'S SESSION POSTPONED

WE ARE SORRY...

Due to some extenuating circumstances our weekly session for tonight is postponed until tomorrow night God's willing at 8 PM

We know you were looking forward to the evening with us, and we apologize for any inconvenience caused.

Until tomorrow.... We love you and God Bless!

Facebook #28daystolovingmywife

Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel

MEN'S 28 DAYS TO LOVING MY WIFE CHALLENGE DAY 26 - LEADERSHIP #5

THE LOVING FATHER 

The Scripture speaks of a natural father giving gifts to his children-in that if the ask for a fish, they will not be given a scorpion. (Read Matthew 7:9-11)

So a father must ensure that he provides, protects and nurtures his children as the Lord would.  

JOIN US FOR OUR WEEKLY FB LIVE CONFERENCE TONIGHT!!! 

8:00 PM LOCAL VI TIME - 7:00/6:00 PM US - CALL 1-470-888-9447

Theme Verse: Ephesians 5:29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Before we begin today, I would like to share a poem I memorized in my youth, that sends out a good message! You can read it at your leisure at https://www.wattpad.com/203508670-the-monkey%27s-disgrace

TWO MORE DAYS TO GO! 

Now that you have built a relationship and own up to your responsibility let's explore more of your role as a father! 

TODAY'S ACTIVITY: THE LEADERSHIP FATHER

Today, there are many cases of abandonment, neglect, abuse, resentfulness, violence......

Many children experience the absent father life and are left to fend for themselves at a very early age. As a father, you should not be just a "sperm donar". You should take full responsibility and be accountable for your children.

Here are some of your expectations in the position/role as a father:

Spiritual Example - Be the priest and spiritual leader
Nurture and Admonish - Give love, guidance and discipline
Provide - Food/Shelter/Clothing/Schooling and other necessities of life, wise counsel, friendship, support/encouragement,
Protect - Safeguard from all intruders and the evil one. Cover them in prayer daily.
Quality Time - make time for your children. Treat each one as special as the other. While you have family time, set aside time for each of your children individually/personally
Love and Respect their Mother - Show love, kindness and respect to their mom (whether you are married to them or not). Speak well of her to them and to others
Training - Prepare them for life and the future.Teach and train in various aspects of life, principles/etiquette, how to be respectful, good stewards/investors, give them opportunities to learn
Communication - Communicate with your children so they can be free to speak to you about anything. Share your experiences, expectations of them and plans. Encourage feedback
Example - Be a positive example your children can emulate. Have integrity, be honorable, a positive influence-morally/spiritually/physically/emotionally/socially/ethically.

DOs' and DON'Ts'
Love in public and discipline in private - Don't embarrass
Speak Positive Affirmations - Avoid negative words and curses Encourage and Applaud - Don't criticize, judge or condemn
Listen and Pay Attention - Don't shut down, ignore/neglect
Play and Have Fun - Don't be a grouch and rule like a Pharaoh
Be Available - Don't be an absent father or distant

Caution: Don't substitute quality time with gifts-They both are important, but your children will remember the when dad did this with me moments!
Remember, MARRIAGE IS A TEAM EFFORT-COMMON PURPOSE!

Don't be discouraged if she doesn't receive it at first or perhaps question your motive. Just do it- Lead in love!
Watch God in the next 28 days!

Please leave your comments, and help another brother by sharing this post!

#28daystolovingmywife
Taking the risk-training to enhance your marriage and give the next generation a change to emulate.

God Bless you and Keep the Faith!

Virtuous Jewel